i [hate] Starbucks
I don’t personally hate Starbucks. That’s not why I headed this post “i hate Starbucks.” Truth is, I highly dislike Starbucks (hate is such a strong word). What I will say is I am fairly certain they put something in their soy lattes (the one drink I order at Starbucks). So I can say “I hate Starbucks” like someone might say “I hate cigarettes,” which wouldn’t make me any less addicted to a substance a behemoth evil corporation puts into something they sell to those of us with coins to spare (hmmm… makes you wonder). Could a cloned website for Starbucks.com be in the works (StarbucksUSA.com…)?
Kick-ass ad campaign + addictive substances = Philip Morris.
Anyway, I digress as I sip my grande soy latte. That’s another thing, the naming system pisses me off. Who doesn’t it piss off? Even people who love going to Starbucks to pay for WiFi must be just a little bit ticked when a green-aproned drone behind the counter gives them the evil eye when they’ve ordered incorrectly. Sorry guys, I still say “small,” “medium,” and “large.” Don’t get pissed. Instead, please make my medium soy latte. Besides, “grande” (as in the Rio Grande) means large, and wtf is venti doing where “large” should be?
Starbucks is a business. Duh. Starbucks has a monopoly on coffee at the moment. Duh. Starbucks pisses on the small guy, putting independent coffee shop owners out on their ass. Mom and pop shops are closed while the rest of us work harder to find coffeehouses with better brew and more inviting, stimulating atmosphere. The long short: Corporate giants like Starbucks are destroying individuality, and for what? How much revenue/profit is too much? And what do we sacrifice in the process?
So, the whole point: I passed one of the seven Starbucks in the area on my way to work this morning. The coffee guy about 3 meters from Buck’s front door didn’t have one person on line. Meanwhile, Buck’s line was overflowing onto the sidewalk and almost to Wall Street. There’s no way in hell those people could have been ordering regular coffee. Everyone knows (yes, everyone knows) Starbucks’ regular coffee tastes like sh*t, at the very least like crap — bitter to the last (no, I’ve never eaten sh*t, although some readers might want me to). But then again, it’s rumored that Starbucks made something like 6.4 billion last year, so there’s bound to be some regular coffee in there somewhere, yah? Turns out the coffee guy’s coffee is much better. Go figure.
So when I got to work I entered “i hate Starbucks” into google (just for the fun of it), and in turn found my new favorite website (for this week, maybe even the next few weeks): www.ihatestarbucks.com.
There’s a delightful little story on how Starbucks decided, after all, to support the troops in Iraq. And to think it all started with an email hoax. The “non-Starbucks alternatives” need updating (at least for New York City) — I’m thinking of getting with the site admin to update this on the reg. In a particularly clever section of the site, our host lists a few memorable hate emails (and their rebuttals). Very witty and totally entertaining. A must-read.
Now for the cute little image up top: I Need Coffee.com put out a humorous yet poignant post called “Why We Hate Starbucks,” describing a branding incident gone awry and an account of this particular idiot who has committed his life’s work to visiting every Starbucks on the planet. (Yes, they do all look alike.)
Get to the sites and check them out. At the very least you’ll laugh. But with any luck, it might make you think about why so many people despise Starbucks.
I’m no Starbucks fan. But we have met the enemy, and he is us. Walt Kelly had it exactly right. There is no point in hating Starbucks. They exist because people patronize them. This is the same reason WalMart sells cheaper and cheaper goods as suppliers outsource to meet more and more stringent cost requirements. Then people lament that the TV factory in their town has closed down. Gee, I wonder why? These are the same people that want to stroll through a farmers’ market with their out of state friends to show them what a bohemian lifestyle they could have, but they don’t buy anything there, and they stop at McDonalds for a snack and CostCo on the way home for a giant bag of frozen processed food from thousands of miles away, then wonder why they are fat and their local economy is in the dumper. Starbucks doesn’t put mom and pop coffee shops out of business. Lazy people do, because they don’t want to cross the street, because they won’t buy fresh beans from the local specialty independent roaster and make their coffee at home, because they don’t think through the obvious and completely forseeable consequences of their purchasing decisions. And to add insult to injury, they pay Starbucks MORE for the “experience”. You reap what you sow.
Muddydog,
I couldn’t have articulated it any better. I completely agree. Thanks for reading, and for your comment–
C
TooLazy to come up with my own words to comment on Muddydawg’s comment but this articulates what i would like to say .
Muddydog,
I couldn’t have articulated it any better. I completely agree. Thanks for reading, and for your comment
Ok, guilty as charged, Ethinopian. It was probably too easy for me to say “I agree.” By the way, I tried the Pike’s Place brew today. It wasn’t half-bad. I used a friend’s coupon so I was “doing research for free,” you could say. By the way, did you mean to name yourself “Ethiopian refugee?” Or did you just coin a neologism?
this just in, courtesy A in CT: New Starbucks Opens In Restroom Of Existing Starbucks
[...] Starbucks was charging for WiFi. That was the last straw for me. I wasn’t opposed to stopping at [...]
Damien Franco dot Com » Hey Starbucks! It’s About Time. said this on June 3, 2008 at 10:55 am |
hey dude this is America. We all HAD (and will again soon) it so much better than the rest of the world is because of these so-called evil corporations. It’s quite simple. We live in a free market and there is a market for pretentious and over priced coffee. So Starbucks cashed in. Why do you blame them? Oh and btw, stop being a ignorant American. Venti is Italian for 20, which is Starbuck’s 20 oz. cup. In many places, like Quebec only Italian words are used for all of the sizes
piccolo, mezzo, grande, venti.
Source(s):http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Starbucks#C…
Thanks Aaron. I stand corrected (regarding “venti”) – interesting use of “piccolo” too, I should say.
As for your “this is America” statement: clearly a conversation in itself. The latest Wall Street development (leading up to the current recession) is merely a symptom of Capitalism gone bad. We’ve lost the puritan work ethic (i.e. investment and patience make for a sound future). — there’s a book about this… let me remember and post here later.
I am all for Capitalism if controlled and employed correctly. But there is clearly a systemic problem embodied by corporate America – the proof is all around us. Gluttony, greed, impatience are but a few examples of the modern corporate “code of ethics” – as realized in a monetary-based economy, that is.
I may not be an expert on Starbucks (never claimed to be), but I choose my battles wisely. “Much better than the rest of the world” is relative. Once America’s credit card illusion (or delusion, as it were) tapers off, most of us will realize we don’t have it as “good” as we once thought.
The point: we need to bring the puritan work ethic back if we are to continue on the road to recovery (something our new president has recently advocated for). We need to learn the importance of patience and moderation as a society. Opportunity and bounty should no longer be equated with instant gratification.
As modern corporate culture stands, instant gratification and manufactured need are paramount to survival. This can only hurt us in the long run. I am sure you would agree.
Thanks for reading and (again) for the correction on Venti!