a [recent] review of “Straight Acting”
It seems as if a recent review of mine has stirred a smidgeon of controversy. Angelo Pezzote, perhaps known best for his column “Ask Angelo,” has written a self-help book (brrrr, it’s cold in here!) aimed at the self-loathing homosexual. Apparently, there are some flamboyant creatures out there who don’t really like who they are. (Even the Pet Shop Boys wrote a hot single of that name to describe the present state of social decay.)
But really, masculine vs. feminine. Feminine vs. masculine. What exactly are those arguments except another way of reaffirming our patriarchal ideologies? Let’s put out a book that vehemently yet humorously attacks the subject of gender discrimination (by attacking the traits of a particular gender we are attacking the gender itself).
But Pezzote, instead of attacking the discrimination, attacks masculinity (or at least he appears to) and let’s face it, if a self-help book can’t figure itself out, why in hell should we be taking its advice? All cattiness aside (Lady Miss Kier, we await your return!), it should be said that he has the best of intentions.
The problem here is that too many people fail to realize the breadth and scope of writing and publishing a book. Releasing a book like Straight Acting shouldn’t be for notoriety’s sake. Neither should it be for money’s sake. It should be for the sake of its readers. End of story.
From the review:
“It seems as if most of Straight Acting, and perhaps the bulk of Pezzote’s columns, is geared toward the self-loathing homosexual; the effeminite-at-heart who destructively seeks to be masculine, and the effeminite gay man who feels inferior or ugly because of his flamboyant tendencies. Yet, he preaches to a wide audience and in doing so, threatens to flip the prejudice on those gays who in fact positively identify as masculine. After all, being masculine is not any more wrong or misplaced for a gay male than is being effeminate, regardless of the current patriarchal societal trend, a viewpoint blurred as he suggests for us to ‘lower our shields of masculinity.’” READ MORE
The book reminded me of a wonderful spoof put out by Seahorse Press ages ago called “The Butch Handbook,” that was a send up of 70s clonism—and it did it really well. But the problem with attacking gay men who try to act “straight” or butch or masculine—and this idea seems to pop up every now and then, is that there are real sensuous rewards in masculinity just as there are in femininity and a lot of men who appear to be acting butch understand that, or feel it. So, the idea of contacting your inner, secure, male self is not that inauthentic and can be a real rush, and have real satisfactions, exactly as making contact with your own inner, feminine softness.
I think the hardship for a lot of gay men is that masculinity is seen too often as threatening, cold, hard, completely competitive, and often pretty vain, and in its own weak. So they shy away from its challenges, its rewards, and its beauty. This is really sad—and these men are missing something just as much as men who feel that they can only be “butch” are missing something, too: the very generous, inner world of maleness.
As always, Perry, your articulation on this is FLAWLESS. Your opinion is exactly what most men are probably thinking but can’t find the words for…
Yes, “contacting your inner, secure, male self” is a reward, and most of us need to go through periods of growth (perhaps self-loathing, at the very least discomfort) while we deal with society and its flaws. But oh, sweet victory when we find that inner nirvana!
We constantly grow, one hopes, and learn as we go. Embracing change and hardship is the first step to reaching our full potential. The more different you are, the more potential you have, I say. And to all of those questioning gay men out there, hang tough. Your day will come.
Can I really say “WHATEVER GIRLA” in the spirit of my desire that people would learn to just be whoever they choose to BE and give others the same respect without JUDGMENT.
From my line of work I have learned that those who have a need to judge others for what THEY have chosen TO BE are really expressing a lack of awareness of who they know themselves to BE. Basically they are unhappy with themselves and would rather that everyone else be unhappy with themselves.
This explains the half-ass living that they do and the constant PROJECTION of fear they bottle up to serve to those around them who are giving ANY indication of enjoyment with who they are and who they are choosing to BE.
In ALL honesty, masculine vs. feminine or feminine vs. masculine really means NOTHING. ANY meaning attributed to these terms will always be derived by the person who has decided to take them on, hence this meaning will go from an individual perspective of the terms to the community level perspective from which the individual belongs.
Bottom line is that we are ALL BEST OFF being who we feel BEST express our inner being at any given time, AND RESPECTING OTHERS DECISIONS TO DO THE SAME. This may be masculine vs. feminine or feminine vs. masculine among other things. As long as you are not hurting anyone “WHO FRICKEN CARE.”
I agree about your comment on the “projection of fear” as it comes from individuals outside of the LGBT experience. What is unique with minorities is that sometimes the same projection comes from within, alienating members of the same disenfranchised group from one another.
“Zooming out” to see the larger picture shows us the problem lies more with sex and gender studies, more like what Patricia Hill Collins explains in her seminal work, Black Sexual Politics. Our society (and much of the planet) is steeped in sexism, unfortunately, which ultimately affects matters of race and sexuality.
[...] me today after having difficulty locating an Edge review of mine from March. She was looking over a follow-up post concerning my review of a book entitled Straight Acting, after being approached by a friend on the [...]